Word Inventions (or Dictionary Delirium!)

I invent new words. On purpose. All the time. I think words should serve our needs for expression; we shouldn't have to confirm to their restrictive constructs in order to find effective ways to articulate the language of our hearts and minds. Language was created to serve us, not for us to serve it. Right?

Somewhere, once upon a time, some John T. Dinkelberry decided that his vocabulary of 172 words was insufficient and he had to find a way to accurately tell someone how to get away from some fast-legged, unihorned carnivore (a time when accurate expression is kinda important), so by need, created new words that, basically, said "Getthefuckouttahere!" ("Leave quickly!" doesn't quick capture the linguistic merit of the former, see?)

Most of the time, they are two traditionally un-connected words that are synergistically better:

• Sticklish: Stuck and ticklish
• Brownipus: Brown and octopus
• Phonippotemus: Mouth open. On phone. You get the picture.
• Bearily: Bear and warily (the best way to approach a bear, by the way)
• Hairpily: Hair and happily (like when you're happy you have a new haircut and want people to know.
• Sophilicious: Tasty by the standards of my dog, Sophie.
• Manhattanate: To marinate in bourbon...
• Selliloquy: When you're the only one within your town able to sell your house.

Other times, the linguistic transformations are more for stylistic emphasis:

• Doggily: Of or like a dog
• Factilically: Of, or in the general neighborhood of a fact (in other words, probably not)
• Snifftilious: Smells good
• Warmilish: Tending toward warm ... but not quite there yet.
• Destaticize: To reduce the clinginess of something
• Destatusize: To mock the arrogance of another
• Annoyifant: Someone who bugs you.
• Repugtilious: You don't like him or her ... with a twist.
• Fantasmagorical: Really good.
• Shittily (this one's official): Not so good.
• Snorabilucum: Something you put in a person's mouth to keep them from snoring. If that doesn't work, try a didgeridoo (I didn't invent that one!)

Of course, I'm not the only one in the word invention business. I mean, how about the word and song in the video to my right? These days, there's Sheenglish - the crazy expressions invented by Charlie Sheen, or Spanglish, the combo of Spanish and English, which turned into the title of an Adam Sandler movie. Then there's Austin Powers' retro-hip "shagadelic!" catch phrases; a man after my groovy heart.

Speaking of retro, there's even a movement afoot to resurrect formerly used English words, and introduce them into modern vernacular: Jargogle (1692): to confuse or jumble; Kench: to laugh loudly; Ludibrious: to be a subject of jest or mockery; Malagrugrous: dismal; Quagswagging: the action of shaking to and fro; or Freck: to move swiftly or nimbly. Of course, I know that one as the expression used by my daughter to describe the tiny brownish spots on her skin...

One commonly known word inventor was William Shakespeare: Among his confabulations: arouse, addicted, bloodstained, excitement, gloomy, jaded, obsequiously, remorseless, jaded, swagger, worthless and zany! Let's see if I can catch him:

• Pontilification: What happens when you drink and say too much.
• Obzipperous: Refusal to zip up one's fly.
• Fartacus: Sporting pride in one's gas.
• Sleepalicious: When sleep looks really, really attractive.
• Grapeling: Trying to decide which wine to drink.
• Scandalabra: You know, that really annoyingly dramatic person ...
• Googilious: The crazy crap you search online for, for no particular reason.
• Hubilitated: When you take a break from writing on Hubpages, and then finally start publishing articles again!

So, that said, and being that I've wrung the mop on this crazy idea tonight, don't be surprised if I keep adding more incredibly valuable ludibrious lexicons!

Til then, please feel free to add your own...

Cut. Print. Out!