How To Embarrass Your Preteen Daughter

Through the years, Moms and Dads have had certain responsibilities assigned to them - many traditional, such as Mom being more prone to tending to kids' hygiene and Dad teaching kids' how to do things around the home (yeah, yeah, and I'll get to that as soon as I finish this hub . . . !) Far beyond this, however, there are a number of assumed responsibilities far too few of us acknowledge.

One key one is making sure my daughter learns to laugh at herself. Oh, you've met those men and women who are so buttoned-up and humorless you can't stand to be around them longer than it takes to butter your toast. Obviously, someone overlooked this hugely important responsibility in their life. For example, today, one of our errands was into Home Depot to pick up some Weed and Feed. I sagely got out of the car, followed by my goofy son and my very cool daughter, carefully clutching her cell phone. So, I said to both, "Let's go!" and proceeded to run through the parking lot with my arms and legs flailing, a la Phoebe from the show Friends (the episode where she taught Rachel how liberating this was!)

Oh sure, someone will read this and think how traumatizing this could be to a potentially budding debutante. And that is precisely the point! My daughter is anything but - the three of us laugh constantly, and in this case, I made my son howl (my daughter too, though much more discreetly!)

So, why do some of us attach so much emotional baggage to the idea of being embarrassed? A quick Google search turned up a number of hits with stories about parents, grandparents, etc. telling about their kids being embarrassed by something they did - such as wearing the wrong socks, not combing their hair the right way, or kissing them as they were dropped off at school. Even Psychology Today; however, states that teasing is an indispensable social tool, vital to all healthy relationships!

I think we watch too many movies - movies where the kid is genuinely harrassed because his parents are geeks, or because she's too "soft" and not cool enough. Is that your reality? It isn't mine! I kiss my kids every morning when I drop them off - alas, right in front of their school - and I don't give it a second thought. I think we stop interacting with our kids in fun, playful ways because they tell us they are embarrassed, and so we push away to avoid making them feel this way. And guess what? They just feel more distant from us, one small step at a time. I've had several friends who said their Dad or Mom was really close to them until adolescence, and then they drew away for some inexplicable reason...

 

Before the list of ways to embarrass your daughter, I have to define the parameters - put forth the small print - because not everyone has the same sense of tongue-in-cheek as I do!

That said, the disclaimers:

1. First, know your and her boundaries. Clearly there are a number of issues that are off limits and inappropriate, especially at this age.
2. Make sure she knows your intentions. My daughter and I are very close. I laugh with her, not at her. She knows my heart and I hers. I never have any kind of malicious intent - only love.
3. Balance with serious time. The constant jokester is not funny at all; he's an annoyance!
4. Spread the wealth. Yes, I tease my son just as much!

So, with that in mind, I've come up with some sure strategies to make sure your daughter stays on her toes. Here goes:

1. Always have some fun, non-sensical activity you do together that gives you both a belly laugh. When I was in school, my friends and I used to pretend to be rock stars and lip synch our way through popular songs. So, my kids and I started thinking up a name for our group, and the design of our album cover (you have to do this before you start doing banal things like learning an instrument and actually writing songs!) Our name? Eyebrow Parade. Our first (rough draft) album cover is above...
2. When you're together in some public place, such as when she's ordering her fine food at Chick-Fil-A, make sure to tickle her unexpectedly to take her off her mark and mess up the perfection of her "presentation" while ordering.
3. Don't listen to her when she acts like she doesn't want you to meet her friends. She does, and so do you. On one of my dates in high school, I showed up at the girl's house only to be greeted by a father who looked like a big-time wrestler, and told me, while tapping a bat into his hand, what time he wanted his daughter home. I knew he was joking (partly), but I guarantee you she was back on time!
4. Write an article on hubpages about how to embarrass her. ;-)
5. Take one of your fun home videos, such as her screaming after opening a Christmas gift, her sliding a sled down a snowy hill into a face-full of powder, or her singing karaoke to Alanis Morrisette and post it on your YouTube site.
6. Take her out for her birthday to a place where the servers sing a goofy public version of "Happy Birthday" to her, while bringing her a sundae with a single candle on it. Invite everyone to join in.
7. For your son: tell him it'll be okay to let all the girls at the sleepover do a makeover on him - just make sure he doesn't see the camera til it's too late!

Okay, I think you get the idea! What I'd love to see are some additional suggestions to keep your loved ones on your toes - life's too short not to laugh your way through it ~

Happy teasing!

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Follow-up Hub articles:

"How to have fun with your son!"

"How to not embarrass your teenage daughter!"