How to have Fun with your Son!

For some reason, my hub article on "How to Embarrass Your Preteen Daughter" is by far my most popular. I wrote it on a whim without a lot of forethought, but I think that's good. Sometimes, I think our best, most authentic thoughts come that way!

So, this morning, I told my son I wanted to write a hub article about him and asked him what it should be titled - and this subject was his idea. Naturally, anyone can have fun with either their son or daughter, just as you can just as easily embarrass your son. Okay, well, maybe not. It's seldom we have a meal out anywhere that he doesn't belch loudly, smile, and then pretend it was an accident when I chastise him for the hundredth time!

He also will play along with me when I suddenly break out in song, do an Elaine dance (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQu_NLRvULM), or run like Phoebe (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_0Ta_DIWuU), so he obviously isn't too prone to embarrassment!

Every kid is unique and mine are no exception (I loved writing this hugely contradictory sentence!) Despite his demonstrative behavior, my son is much more sensitive to slights, so I'm just going to have fun with this one...

Modern life has so many chapters, plot and subplots.  We also play so many different roles, I know it's sometimes hard to separate them out.  It almost seems as if the nature of things is to specialize in being successful in only one area, whether that's work, relationships, sports or family. 

I'm not particularly fond of limitations.  As the saying goes, if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them!  That said, based on a whole lot of heartache and life experience, I believe we CAN be very successful in multiple areas.  To start, I have the sense that too many of us overanalyze what it means to be a successful parent. 

I look at my kids and I can think of so many mistakes I've made, so many times I've gotten upset unnecessarily, didn't say the right thing or made the wrong decision, and then I look at these wonderful children - how happy and resilient they are and I think, along with their mother, I must've done something right. 

Kids are - very simply - us in miniature!  I think one of our biggest mistakes is to overthink them.  They want to be happy and playful.  They want to be supported and adored, they want to get and give attention, they want to matter.  They want to be understood, supported and loved.  They want what we want. 

So, I've always just done things with my kids that I wanted to do, knowing they'd come to appreciate many of those things and, surreptitiously, I'd have fun doing them.  No sense doing something "for the kids" that I hated - I figure they're smart enough to figure that out!

So, here's my list. I simply asked my son for five ways to have fun with him. Here goes:

1. Play sports with him. Compete. Zach likes to be physically active, so this means kicking a soccer ball, walking down by the river, shooting baskets. Santa just brought us a Wii (because Santa doesn't want them just sitting on their behinds in front of the TV!) and he and I sweated fighting each other in Wii boxing. The first time my little 10-year-old KO'd me in three, but I got him the second time. ;-) One thing Wii provides is an even playing field physically!

2. Coach his team. I am by no means an expert at any sport. But I could see the light in his eyes when we were at basketball, and then soccer signups, and he asked me to coach. I asked him why he wanted me to and he said to get to know him better - "some parents just drop off heir kids and go." So I did it. I remember one time when the other coach had some other obligation and I was on the soccer field with 12 boys giving them some anecdotal story when one of the kids said, "are you a teacher?" "No, why?" I asked. "Because you're telling stories." And I realized it was time for me to stop talking! See #1.

3. Start an activity together. I started on this idea of writing a book together titled, "The House of Blue Underwear", and I have pages of ideas - such as a floating cheese pizza - that came from the imagination of my son. I just have to finish the darned thing.

4. Write to him. I've kept a hard-bound journal for each of my kids the last nine years, and every so often I write a letter to each of them, chronicling things they've said, places we've gone, or everyday events I wanted them to remember. I asked Zach why he liked this, and he said he "likes to know what I was like when I was a baby - like when I said gimme chockat!" There's no way I can reasonably trust this memory of mine, so I've found this a blast to read from time to time to jog my memory of events past - it's much like a photo album that way.

5. "Read books to me" - that's a direct quote from him. I used to do it every single night when he was little, but it's just slipped away as I've gotten busy, as they've gotten older and as they don't ask for it nearly as often. So this is one I have to definitely remember myself. Just because they don't say it, then still remember those feelings and want the same things they did when they were little.

And there's my list, taken from my interview with my goofball this morning. Kids are a blast. Have fun!