Scavenging for Emotional Soul Food

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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ Plato

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I am sitting down to write again finally after a ten mile Sunday morning run. A gentle Spring breeze breathes over the river and whispers through the trees. A bashful sun peeks out, then ducks back behind the clouds. Intrepid jack rabbits scurry out of the bushes and across my path. Nothing like a long run to get the synapses firing, the endorphins popping, the sense of clarity, the unadulterated thinking time. So, naturally my mind goes to the concerns most prevalent in my world: Kids, relationship, work, family.

It's weird when you experience something impactful, something that alters your perspective, even when you felt prepared. I kind of figured there'd be some kind of emotional road sign: "Dangerous Curve Ahead", "Road Construction Next 9 Miles". That kind of thing. In the greater scheme of a lifetime, I'm sure this circumstance will be normalized. One of the advantages of getting older is the realization that bad stuff doesn't last forever. I know that this too shall pass.

There seem to be no end to the challenges and rough roads we face as we get older: Financial, job struggles, economic turmoil all around us. It doesn't seem to escape many, and certainly not me. Each of us has our own set of difficulties we're all working through. Not only should we treat others with consideration and thoughtfulness, we absolutely must do that with ourselves. No one but me knows my whole story, and no one stands to gain more from the application of good counsel than me. And the same applies to you - the person reading this now.

A couple of months ago, I traveled to Key West, Florida, where we toured Ernest Hemingway's home there. Great tour. Troubled man. The tour guide wisely and appropriately focused on the good things about Hemingway: his robust zeal for life, his incredible contribution to American literature, as well as the colorful parts - many wives, moodiness, etc. They also made the briefest mention of the fact he committed suicide in 1961 after suffering mental deterioration, money problems and severe depression, for which he underwent a series of unsuccessful shock therapies.

His is just one of many examples that remind me that in this life there's some tough shit. Things don't go according to plan. Not everyone figures out the greater, noble meaning of their lives. In fact, from what I've witnessed, most don't. And that's sobering. Life has a trajectory. What fuels us when we're young may not be the same thing that fuels us in midlife, and it may become even less nourishing as we get older.

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“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~ Bernice Johnson Reagon

We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. ~ Author Unknown

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In How to Draw Comfort From Sadness, I wrote about challenges from the perspective that a person needs to appropriately experience and work through things that are painful, as opposed to skipping over them, using Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' stages of grief as a backdrop. There's no need to repeat this discussion here. Instead, in the spirit of writing therapy, I'm using this hub as a perspective-enhancer, in the hope and possibility of it being of value not just to myself, but to others experiencing life challenges. You can't ignore them, wish them away, spend your time glorifying the past or over-optimizing the future. As I stated in my hub Wherever You Go, There You Are, there is magic and beauty right now that should be celebrated.

Seeking emotional nutrition is an act of volition. I assume that staying positively and happily focused on the most important and life-enhancing soul food is an inherent personality characteristic to some people. It doesn't come naturally to me. I have to work at it.

So, in that spirit of productive resolve, here are a few examples of things in life that provide me with strength, comfort and mental sustenance. I'm sure I'll forget some, but this is a start. You can borrow, or make up your own, if you wish to create your own list. Either way, there is much to be thankful for.

The following is my hub article The Economics of Happiness in practice:

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“Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.” ~ Niels Bohr

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?" ~ Sydney J. Harris

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• There is nothing quite like a good meal. I especially love going out for a nice dinner with someone close to me. More often than not, I get a general idea of what I want from the menu, but when the server arrives, ask him, "what's the most amazing dish you serve?" If he looks surprised or confused, I continue with, "Is there a dish that this restaurant is known for? Something that the chef loves to make, you love to eat, or you hear people talk about and order again and again?" I've been doing this for years. Almost without fail, I get a wonderful dish. Many times, it's something I've never eaten before, and very frequently it's not what I would have considered ordering. Food is adventure. I know too many people who look at a menu fearfully - like there's something on there that will attack you or give you head lice. Food is good. Food is sustenance. I love love love good food!
• I love a glass - strike that - a bottle of nice wine. I'm not a wine snob, and I don't keep a wine collection. A collection is something you make or create for show, which means its for other people. I don't care what you know of what I drink. I drink to enjoy the wine. A good wine is smooth, makes you instinctively pause, take a breath and close your eyes as it eases through your lips with such a panoply of tastes, aromas, and sensory gifts. It has character, richness and substance, and makes you want to pay attention to it.
• The comfort and peace of being around a thoughtful, accepting, loving family. My beautiful children were brought into my world to help me, challenge me, and give me faith in humankind; my acts of love, encouragement, service and support toward them are returned to me a hundred-fold. My family of origin has been through much, but is in the end, a constant, consistent source of unconditional acceptance. And that is a beautiful gift.
• Seeking knowledge and wisdom. To learn new perspectives, new ways of thinking. I have bookshelves full of wisdom, perspective, psychology, self-help, inspirational, spiritual texts. I love books. I can't have enough. I've purchased volumes of Shakespeare, Kipling, Tolstoy, Hemingway, Churchill and others, going back to the 1800s. I find works like Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, Left to Tell by Immaculee Ililagabiza, Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Magnificent Obsession by Lloyd Douglas, and of course, the Bible, to be among my favorites. I also get so much value from Pema Chodron (When Things Fall Apart), Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Gordon Livingston, Thich Nhat Hanh, the Dalai Lama and other contemporary writers. Even the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff books by Richard Carlson, and the Chicken Soup series are terrific.
• Prayer and meditation: Surrendering and accepting the many things for which I have no control. Reaching that point of knowledge and spiritual wisdom provides me with the opportunity to let go of the load that I simply cannot carry alone. This is the point at which I put down the books, stop trying to plan and analyze and plot, and just sit in silent allowance for the vast storage of spiritual knowledge, perspective and wisdom that comes to and through me from God.

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"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine." ~  Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Negativity is an addiction to the bleak shadow that lingers around every human form ... you can transfigure negativity by turning it toward the light of your soul." ~ John O'Donohue

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• Writing: The art of translating the disconnected threads of meaning that scatter about in my head into works of meaning that come together in front of me is some of the most beautiful acts of magic I've experienced. Writing taps into a higher, deeper consciousness, one that creates, and allows the manifestation of enhanced understanding. If you write on Hubpages, you probably understand.
• A good night's sleep - especially on those rare days when I don't have to get up to an alarm clock. Sleep is a wonderful gift of peace, serenity and balance. I don't know why we fight sleep so much. It's a wonderful daily experience. Nothing is expected of us. It is an act of allowing, of surrender, of vulnerability. It begins and ends each day of life. As a result, it should be cherished with the same honor, respect and reverence as we afford the miraculous gifts of birth and death.
• The first sip of a cup of coffee in the morning. Sitting up in bed with my sweetheart, holding the warm java while playing on our laptops is a warm, comfortable, peaceful, contented feeling that I try to enjoy as often as possible. Check out my hub Coffee Love! for my expounding on the subject. Bonus: breakfast with coffee, omelette, hash browns, bacon, orange juice, waffle .... in case anyone's asking...
• Travel. I get an abundance of physical, emotional and spiritual energy when I can find an opportunity to get outside my bubble of routine, even if just to the coast or the mountains for the day. Rick Steves said "travel is intensified living", and I agree. Whether its a day hike up in the Sierras or down at the coast, a weekender to SF or Carmel, a flight across the country, or a driving tour through the Southwest, it expands and enhances my life experience.
• Being in the outdoors. Hiking to the top of a mountain is a favorite, since the pinnacle becomes a moment of exhilaration, and culmination to the experience. There are so many amazing hikes within a short distance of my home in northern California that are breathtaking. I also love running, and use it as my primary method of getting the cardiovascular exercise that enhances my physical body, focuses my mind and improves my ability to think and rationalize, put things into proper perspective, and reduce my drinking tab! Just stepping outside to be in the outside air, unfiltered, raw, natural and genuine, is in itself a spiritual experience. When I was younger, I spent a lot more time staring up into the sky, watching the clouds go by. I seldom do that without feeling a sense of peace, not unlike the feeling experienced watching waves roll in on an ocean beach. Peaceful, soulful and eternally beautiful.
• Love. In every form, in its deepest depths and agonizing challenges. It is the fuel of rich, inspired, passionate living.

So there's my top ten list (okay, 11), though even now I can think of so many more (including some I shouldn't publish!) Each of us - in our own way, and for our own reasons - has to find our own path to truth and enlightenment. More importantly, though, we each have to find a way to experience the fullness of each individual day here on Earth.

Be kind to yourself, keep things simple and honest, and cherish the things, events and people that are important to you. This is a great moment, and this is a great place to be.

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I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. ~ Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

"Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, and nothing can cure the senses but the soul." ~ Oscar Wilde

"Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once, just once, understand." ~ Unknown

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